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by noya-chaaan (ladynoirsdaughter)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Reading, Sad, it's kinda cute, otp, sad!bokuto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 05:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7702750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladynoirsdaughter/pseuds/noya-chaaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his arms he felt safe.</p>
<p>For Kelsey's birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

  * For [elemsi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemsi/gifts).



Akaashi liked his peace and quiet, and he knew getting it would be tough with his best friend around. But whenever Bokuto wasn’t bothering him or had something to do, the dark haired boy could get some peace he felt wouldn’t last all that long. Of course, within fifteen minutes of having that peace, his phone would sound or the door would open or his name could be heard from fifty metres away.

He didn’t mind the boy’s presence; in fact, having Bokuto around was normal ever since he started volleyball at Fukurodani. He was used to the loud and incessant owl-boy and found it odd for him to be quiet when they were together.

Bokuto always tried to make sure he wasn't going over the top with his fun - more so crazy - antics when he spent time with his underclassman. He knew how much of a bother he could be, but he just wanted to enjoy life and have a good time before he had to leave high school and go to college. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t forgotten. Maybe that was selfish, considering he’s the captain of their team and there’s no way he of all people could be forgotten, but the nagging feeling in the back of his mind told him it was easy.

Thus the reason he was bothering Akaashi on a Saturday night at eight o’clock and had not stopped talking about his latest adventure with Kuroo for what seemed like forever, but was really a mere ten minutes.

“So by the time we left the park everyone was annoyed and ended up having to leave since ‘it was too late for the kids to be out’. I mean, it’s not like we took over the whole playground, it was only the slide and monkey bars.”

“Bokuto-san, those are some of the favourite parts of the playground for children.” Akaashi sat at the foot of his bed with a book in hand, trying to concentrate on the words while still engaging in conversation with the older boy sprawled out on his bed. The third-year had invited himself over, knowing his friend would be home and that he had of course finished any work he had been assigned. The neat stack of papers on his desk gave it away when he was stopped at the bedroom door.

“Akaashi! You’re supposed to be taking my side in this!” He whined and threw his arms out, the small gust of wind from the action blowing against Akaashi’s hair as the boy’s fingertips just missed him. Leaning forward slightly he made sure to get a little further away, not wanting to endure a never ending apology he would only brush off quickly.

“Sorry Bokuto-san. I’m just stating the facts.” The low groan of annoyance from behind made the corner of his mouth twitch up into a smile, the quiet allowing him to continue reading. Bokuto didn’t have anything else to say on the topic, instead just staring up at the ceiling.

He could tell Akaashi was tired of his stories, just saying words that wouldn’t discourage him in a way that he would stop telling them all together. But they were two different people, both interested in different things and anyone with eyes could see just how many differences they had.

Those thoughts crept up on the ace and so did a lot more. For example, the fact that he had two roles to play when it came to the Fukurodani Volleyball Club. He was their captain; the person who was supposed to lead everyone and hold them up and make sure they knew they were doing a good job and that a loss was not one person’s fault. But he was also the ace. He was supposed to be the best and be someone the team could rely on to lead them to victory. The ace was not supposed to fall and give up and throw everything away because that let everyone down and showed weakness. Bokuto did not want to be weak, but he couldn’t always take the pressure.

He felt his chest tighten up at the fact that after this year, he wouldn’t be that person anymore. He loved being part of the team and he had fun and enjoyed every second he was able to spend on the court, whether he was winning or losing. Being on the court was home, and in a few months time he would be leaving and not coming back. Sure, he would visit when he had the time and hopefully there was a lot of that, but he would have had to move on and find a new gym and new team and new place to play. That’s what scared him the most.

Bokuto was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice how it became even darker outside, or how he hadn’t stopped staring at the ceiling in silence for a half hour, and he especially didn’t notice how Akaashi had put his book down and turned to look at his worriedly. He was too deep in his raging thoughts to notice anything.

Akaashi was worried, the spiked-haired teen had never been so quiet in the entirety of the year and a half they had known one another. They spent a lot of time together, Akaashi being one of the only people, or perhaps the only one, who could tolerate Bokuto’s outgoing personality on a daily basis. But he was never silent for too long, so yes it worried him.

He still hadn’t noticed anything, but knew he had been silent for long enough, so he cracked a smile and let out a breath, stretching his arms above him. He never looked away from the ceiling but could see his friend moving at the end of the bed, hoping he hadn't bothered him by the sudden movement.

No, the setter watched closely as he did those things, making sure he was actually okay, then moved back to his book. Picking up on the last sentence his eyes passed over each word at a steady pace, slowly getting back into the story. He enjoyed it so far, only a quarter-way in, and knew a plot twist was going to spring out of nowhere at some point.

Just as he was turning the page, he heard the captain move behind him, then a small shadow was cast on the edge of the new page. He didn’t move or say anything, instead continuing to read the print and following the story. Akaashi knew that even if he wasn’t a fast reader and reading wasn’t his passion, Bokuto enjoyed stories, especially if someone he cared about did. His friend could be talking about the random person on the train who was singing too loud or his mother could be speaking about how she couldn’t decide between two types of milk at the supermarket. He could watch someone concentrate in volleyball and read their movements and then explain what they do differently each time and listen to what that person is trying to change. He loves stories, and if he ends up reading them, that person he’s sharing it with is very lucky.

Akaashi saw him turn his face in his peripheral vision to read the second page, which he had just finished, waiting to see if he would want to read more. He was so interested in what his friend thought he barely remembered to turn the page when Bokuto gave a small nod as he finished. The setter turned the paper slowly, his eyes skimming through it at a pace he wasn’t sure was human, so curious about it, yet much more curious to see his friend’s expression.

As he finished the two word-covered sheets, he slowly tilted his face to watch the boy with hair that  could only be described as looking like an owl, reading his features as they changed with the words every few moments. As he moved onto the second page, the setter was surprised how he never noticed his eyes watching him, obviously caught up in the story he originally paid no attention to when Akaashi began reading it.

It honestly baffled him. Bokuto didn’t read real books. He would barely read his textbooks for class, he heard, and when he in fact helped him, he didn’t pay much attention to them either. So to his captain, his teammate, his _friend_ , actually reading a real _book_ , he didn’t have much to say on the topic. He felt lucky to see it happen. Even luckier to know it was him who was involved in it. Perhaps it was some crazy dream and he would wake up to the boy sprawled out on his bed with drool falling down his chin as he lay on the hard floor. But no, Bokuto was there, leaning over his shoulder, _reading a book_. He literally wasn’t sure if there were any words to say about it.

Coming back to his senses, he notices how Bokuto has stopped and slightly raised his eyebrows, obviously waiting to read more. The setter makes no moves to turn the page though, just keeping his eyes on the boy. When he does turn to Akaashi, he stops the words that were about to fall off his lips, instead just observing him. He isn’t sure why his friend is looking at him like that, and it makes him feel awkward, so instead he just bows his head as the book is put down onto the floor.

“What’s going on, Bokuto-san?” It’s gentle and caring and he’s not sure he’s ever heard Akaashi talk like that before and it puts a lump in his throat. Just the sentence alone makes him insecure. He knew the setter must have noticed his quietness from earlier, and how suddenly intrigued he had been in such a thing as a book, but he couldn’t stop his heart from picking up speed at the words.

The captain shook his head and sat back up on the bed, pulling at a piece of string on the hem of his shirt. It was bound to go downhill fast once Akaashi got up and sat next to him.

“Bokuto-san?” Seeing his upperclassman be so quiet and shielded made him worry. Of course he was worried, he hadn’t seen it to this extreme. He had experienced Bokuto’s ‘emo mode’ during many volleyball games, but never had he seen him shut the world out because of something completely unrelated to the sport.

Akaashi decided to push away any thought of awkwardness and regret that could come of his actions, and took the captain’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together. When he felt the boy tense, he gave his hand, which was slightly smaller than his own, a gentle squeeze of reassurance. When he looked up at him, the dark-haired boy already had a small smile showing, one that simply said, ‘I’m here for you’.

Within seconds he shuffled close and moved his free hand around to Akaashi’s hip, his face resting in the underclassman’s shoulder. Akaashi moved his legs so one rested under him and the other hung off the side of the bed, his arm around Bokuto’s back to hold him close. Their hands stayed together, no more tighter or looser than they originally were, and even if it were just for comfort, Bokuto didn’t want to leave the setter’s arms any time soon.

It gave him peace and comfort, and let him know he was cared for. Being in his hold felt safe. It felt like _home_. So when he felt Akaashi pull him that little bit closer, he couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes, the tightness in his chest getting stronger and the small sob that escaped couldn’t be covered, so instead of hiding, he held onto the setter’s shirt tightly, burying his face into his shoulder until he was sure he was completely gone.

The boy didn’t mind one bit. He held his friend close and let him get his emotions out, not pushing him to do anything else. He simply kept their hands joined and his arm around him, being the person he could rely on. Bokuto meant a lot to him, and he wasn’t going to push him away because he was upset. When he shut out due to frustration at volleyball; yes, he would let him come back to his senses all on his own, but this wasn’t one of those times. Bokuto had something else bothering him, and all Akaashi could do was be there to comfort him.

After some time, perhaps longer than either of them realised, the captain loosened his hold on his friend’s shirt until only the end was between his fingertips, his sobs close to gone and his tears drying slowly. He didn’t move back, yet ducked and turned his head so when looking down, all the dark-haired boy would see is the top of his head. He was positive his hair was now a mess, seeing a few strands hanging down out of the corner of his eye. He still let out a small sniff here and there,  letting the weight of his head sink into his friend’s shoulder.

Akaashi didn’t move or pull back because he knew it was too soon, especially after such an event, so he rubbed small circles into his captain’s back soothingly until he was sure the boy had nothing left to let out. When Bokuto moved back he moved his hand so it rested at his hip as well, not paying attention to how forward it could be, considering the boy’s hand was at his own hip as well. Instead of watching him closely which could make him uncomfortable, he instead brushed away his hair and combed it out with his fingers, finding it much softer than he expected.

The black and platinum strands fell around his face and hid his features, making him look somewhat smaller, yet somewhat older. Akaashi liked the look on him; it wasn’t so serious, so fake. It made him seem more real. He brushed through it all until most of it had fallen, and Bokuto didn’t even seem to care. The dark-haired boy always wondered what it would look like if it wasn’t spiked up, and the sight was pleasant. He wishes Bokuto would let go of all the walls and lies he’s built up and let them fall every so often, enough that he can see past but they still stand, just like his hair now.

“Keiji,” his given name fell past the captain’s lips so easily it made him halt in his movements, allowing the boy to sit up and look at him with red-rimmed eyes, “I’m sorry.”

He was by far confused, but let his friend release their joined hands and watched as he rubbed at his eyes with them. “I’m sorry I’m so weak.” His fingers went through his hair and he brought it down with his hands, most of it falling across and in front of his face to the right. It didn’t cover much except his brow and the top of his eye, but Akaashi didn’t pay all too much attention, more focused on his words.

“You’re not weak Bokuto-san, you’re the captain, the ace. Who could be weak in a position like that?”

“I’m the fifth ranked ace in Japan, and even when I’m good at being that, I can’t be the captain everyone needs me to be. Then when I get frustrated, I can’t even be a player.” This wasn’t one of his ‘emo mode’s’, it wasn’t because he was tired, and it wasn’t just a random thought that came out of nowhere.

This has been bothering him for so long, for months actually, and only tonight did it manage to take over his mind and make him feel like he did. He never liked to be weak, and showing the side of him full of pain made him just that. Being weak doesn’t get you anywhere, and if he showed it often, then he would be a failure to his team.

“I just hate that I make so many mistakes, and I know everyone else does too. I know you hate it and you’re sick and tired of dealing with me when I’m frustrated. I’m just so sorry, Keiji.”

Akaashi didn’t know what to do or think. Yes, the dramatic mood changes sometimes bothered him, but the reasons were mostly petty, like a blocked spike or too many sheets of work to finish. Bokuto did this all the time though, but he put up with it. He always would.

Just as he was about to speak, Bokuto stood from the bed, picking up his team jacket and putting it on. “Bokuto-san.” He didn’t stop, so Akaashi followed him quickly. They weren’t throwing the conversation away. “Bokuto-san, please wait.”

“I need to go.” He made his way to the door, almost getting his hand on the doorknob when he was suddenly turned around, pinned against it by the slightly shorter boy. “Akaashi-”

“Please just, just let me help you.” He searched his friend’s eyes, seeing how they went from shocked to confused to hesitant. “Please, Koutarou.”

The captain turned away at the mention of his given name, hating how it rolled off the boy’s tongue so easily, as if he’d said it a thousand times. Hearing it always made him stop and listen; it was a weakness. As Akaashi let his jacket go he stayed leaning against the door, but made no move to leave. That was also weakness, and he was tired of letting it win.

Once again, the setter took the captain’s hand in his, lacing their fingers, gently squeezing it. He watched as it was returned, looking up to see his upperclassman focused on the connection,

“You’re not weak, and you never have been. You’re a captain, and an ace. You’re one of the best and have led us to a victory time and time again. It’s okay to fall and break down and admit that that you’re tired of failing, but you can’t give up. Don’t quit on the team or yourself.” Every word, every single syllable was picked up by Bokuto and imprinted into his mind. They all hit deep and made him question so many things, but then he saw their hands together, and understood that even if he thought everyone was against him, Akaashi wasn’t.

“I don’t want to let you down anymore.”

“Koutarou, you never have.”

They echoed around him, and it sounded like a symphony rather than a taunt. Akashi meant every word, and Bokuto didn’t know how to take it. So instead of seeing if his voice would fail him, he took his other hand and did the same as the other, watching as they fit together in a way that was almost too perfect for it to be real.

Stepping forward, continued to watch their hands, making sure the boy didn’t pull away with each step he took. Once he was right in front of him he stopped, looking directly at him. The height difference wasn’t much, a mere three centimeters or so, but he wasn’t sure if that was with his hair up or not. Either way, he could see how Akaashi looked up at him that slightest bit and it made the worry lessen.

“Keiji…” the words were _right there_ , so why couldn’t he say them? Why was it so difficult? “I’m going to do something crazy, and I need you to let me, just once. Please don’t hate me for it.”

“I won’t, I promise.” _Oh I really hope so._

Without giving much of a warning, Bokuto pulled his hands away, resting them on Akaashi’s cheeks so gently he was afraid to break him, before pulling him forward in the slightest so his lips pressed against it own.

Bokuto closed his eyes tightly because he didn’t want to see the look on his friend’s face at the action, pressing just that little bit harder because he wanted to convey everything he felt in the one chance he might ever have. It didn’t last too long, but long enough he would always find himself remembering it.

He pulled away, ducking him head as his hands fell to his sides. That was it. It’s over. He turned to leave, his hand touching the door this time before he was once again stopped, the hand on his wrist making him wish he never did it.

He was pulled and turned, Akaashi’s eyes moving straight to his, right before he closed them and reconnected their lips. Bokuto was shocked no doubt, but he was being kissed back and he was standing there like an idiot because he just couldn’t believe it. _Kiss him back you idiot._

So he did.

Bokuto let his hands move back to the boy’s cheeks, feeling Akaashi’s in his messy hair. It was gentle at first, pure lips and he was feeling light-headed in the slightest. He stepped backwards so he could lean on the door for support, letting the setter follow.

Akaashi wasn’t exactly sure why he had stopped him from leaving, because he originally wasn’t going to act upon anything. He was planning to wait until the next time they saw each other and just let things fall into place, whether they be awkward or normal. Instead, he decided he very much liked the feeling of Bokuto’s lips on his, the initial shock wearing off once the first had been finished. Everything was screaming at him to not let him leave, and now he was kissing his best friend up against his door like it was all normal. Maybe that’s what he wanted it to be.

Bokuto moved away in the slightest to take a breath, soon returning to the kiss with more want and strength behind it. Akaashi wasn’t against it and pushed back, feeling everything at once. It was so heated and real and he just couldn’t believe it was happening. He didn’t have any intention to stop it though.

As the boy with messy hair wasn’t quite done, he took a leap of faith grazed Akaashi’s lip, simply letting his teeth run over it. A breath escaped him, followed by the smallest “Koutarou” that Bokuto wasn’t sure how to react.

He decided that his legs wouldn’t be able to keep him standing for much longer, breaking the kiss to let their foreheads rest together. The deep breaths between them were ragged and slowing down, but they both remained silent. It was Akaashi who moved back first, gently pulling his fingers from Bokuto’s hair to somewhat tame it before they rested on his cheeks.

“Don’t think you can’t walk away after something like that.” It made a smile crack through on both their faces and Bokuto enjoyed seeing the setter smile, something so rare that he was always happy to see. “You’re not a failure, and I’ll never think you are. You’re a captain, and an ace, and you’re a fighter. Please don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.”

The smile never left his face but he could see his vision blurring again, but this time he wouldn’t let the tears fall, even if they were happy. “I won’t, I promise.”

With one more simple, quick kiss, Akaashi pulled Bokuto into him, holding him close in a way to protect him.

Bokuto knew he would be okay. Akaashi believed in him and supported him and didn’t think badly. He made him feel safe. He made him feel at home.


End file.
